Yesterday was the Fall Equinox, which I forgot at the time. For me, it was a very low-vibrational, low-energy day. My physical, spiritual, and mental self had a hard time. 

It started with the physical. I tried to do a morning bike ride, but I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find the energy to do it. I wondered if it was because of my sleep pattern the night before. I went to bed at 11 p.m. and woke up several times to pee. 

The last time I went to pee, I did not return to bed, and I decided to finish sleeping on the living room couch. Then, my husband woke up around 4 a.m., and his movement woke me up. 

We had a peaceful morning chat until he left, and I forced my body up around 6:30. Woke up the three remaining kids (two got up and hung out with us in the morning calm), instructed them about how to manage their day, and then tried to get mine going. That’s when I realized my energy was uncomfortably low.

I gave up on trying to exercise but continued to watch a YouTube video my mom posted of us having an excellent intergenerational chat about navigating the world in our 40s and 60s, the generational shift, passing the baton, health, and more. I loved the video. I loved my words and our discussion, but I wouldn’t say I liked looking at my overweight body. Did that thought attack my mental state? 

Now, those were two strikes- the physical and mental. I wanted to get the task I wanted to accomplish done. It’s a big one, sorting through my books, journals, old planners, personal trinkets, and keepsakes and deciding what to keep and let go of. This task was too big to do low-energy and low-vibrational on two counts, but I forced myself to do it. I documented it, said my thank-yous, let go of pieces of my soul written in some of these books, and set aside some unread and read books to donate. This made my spirit low. 

I wish I could have consulted a professional on if this is the right thing to do. I want to be unburdened by so much stuff, but this isn’t easy. I started to fall into a deep, dark, mental, and emotional place. I lost my smile and my joy. Plus, my stomach burned all day ( digestive issues? ??). 

My husband spent much of the evening trying to make me feel better, and I did, too. It was hard. He bought me lunch (fries & buffalo wings ❤ ️), later tried to give me a massage (he is not great at it), and made me a green smoothie. I took a nap (it helped until I woke up). I woke up sad, and my stomach was still burning. As it became nighttime, I gave myself a little self-care- face, foot, and hand mask, and more. That helped, and I had an okay night. I went to sleep at 11:30, woke up at 4, got up to pee, and then laid on the couch to write this. The pattern is similar but different, and my stomach still burn a little. 

The lesson I received from my imbalanced Fall Equinox is that my body is not where it needs to be healthwise, and all of my being knows it. I want to live my life well and be my best self. My body, as it is now, is affecting everything else. I need to change that. 

I have a lot of work to do to close Chapter Two of my life and start Chapter Three healthy and strong. 

Watch my Vlog
Tea Talk with my mom